i mean lots of complaining that it hasn't rained

[keplers_angels]

Name: Keplers_angels. I answer to Trudy, but it's not my name.

Age: 46

I mostly post about: I mostly write to make myself real. And to stun people with my wordery. To give consolation. (or wound) And to figure it out.... Been journaling a long time so there are shifts in topic climate but generally it's a lot of poetry and poeticity on sex and angst with smatterings of perimenopause, breastlessness, and feminism, interpersonal relationships... what to do with my life?! existential and metaphysical drama.... I don't shy away from much-- I come to confess. There will be adult content. There may be mathematics, politics, pain, complaints and exhortations, poems and poems and poems and lots of complaining that it hasn't rained. (In general though, my posts are usually much more readable than this is.)

My hobbies are: This. This is my hobby. Outside of work, which is a whole thing, this. I write. I try to make myself submit poems to stuff. I read books, I waste untold hours on fb, I'm learning to sext, I practice yoga, I over analyze things and am pretentious and arrogant except when I'm in joyful denial or drowning in insecurity. In short, I tell the truth about myself -brutally- but I'm not a very reliable narrator.... what was the question again?

My fandoms are: I don't fandom here. But I lived very happily in Man From UNCLE fandom for most of a decade. It saved my life. Sometimes I'll still do an erotic little fandom vignette but fandom's not why I'm here.

I'm looking to meet people who: write similar, or completely different, kinds of things. Mostly I'm looking for my early aughts LJ experience back. I want people who write with emotion and who will read and comment on my posts as I will read and comment on theirs. If you're not going to read your friends page then I don't want you on mine.

My posting schedule tends to be: In 2025 it's been pretty every-day-ish. (at least weekly, usually more) Which pleases me and I hope it will last. I am not *as* punctual with my friends page and comments but I always catch up-- weekly give-or-take.

When I add people, my dealbreakers are: stalking. violating my privacy or anonymity. I'm not opposed in principle to friends of different belief systems to mine but of course, we all have limits, and I'm not going to censor my own posts to avoid those kinds of things. Content wise, if you post something I can't abide, I'll unfriend. But I don't like my echo-chamber to be too constrictive.

Comments

[serafaery]

I think also, it takes me several months to get a feel for someone and really understand who they are and where they're coming from, and it feels weird to invest time and energy and care into replies when I don't know them at all? So I require a bit of lurking, these days. I think maybe this was from being sooooo heavily emotionally invested in several years-long friendships who then just poofed on me. It felt so painful, like, oh, actually, nobody is reading, nobody actually cares, clearly this journal is just for me and people just want pats on the back but don't have the emotional investment that I have. So it takes forever for me to build trust enough to feel comfortable enough to comment as if I have any real connection to them. I can't fake that, until I get truly familiar with someone, which takes a loooooong time for me. But that's just me, where I'm at right now. I used to just dive in head first! But got burned too many times by that, I guess. Mostly I just assume that my journal is trash and people hate it, lol, except for the 3-4 people who have actually stuck around for many years, and who chime in gently, whenever they feel inspired to, with no expectations that I have to reciprocate on any sort of schedule. I don't think either approach is right or wrong, I've done both and they both have their value. Fun to reflect on all of these changes over the years. I don't notice much if people come and go and it's gentler on my heart, that way, at this stage of my life.

[keplers_angels]

It's ok. It's all ok.
Sounds like our timing was just off.
I was invested, and interactive, in your stories and your life for a while. It felt like it wasn't reciprocal. And you don't remember me, so it obviously wasn't. We all come here for different things - feel personal connections in different ways. I'm learning to curate my list to people who show me care in the ways that I need. I have no hard feelings at all. You're welcome to stay subscribed if you want to. I post public posts sometimes.