Lazy post, sorry.

[heavymetalmouth]

My name is Paul. I'm 28, and I'm from Oxford in the United Kingdom. I don't believe in God, but I lived next door to Satan for a while so I'm acquainted with the suspension of disbelief. Recently released from prison after new evidence came to light which 'cast the shadow of doubt' on my involvement in the London bombings of July 7th, 2005; now looking for work organising race wars in large Northern towns, to stir up support for the British Nationalist Party. In my free time I like to dissect pregnant household pets, partially out of scientific interest but mostly out of gastronomic curiosity. Also, as an occasional treat to myself, I will hire several prostitutes in order to have them act as footstools for my fellow White Brotherhood members when we have our semi-regular 'cards & ketamine' nights.


An abortionist by trade, I spent my formative years carefully - even minutely - studying gynaecology, and after failing college decided that the 'coathanger clinic' was my only option if I ever hoped to get my hands on any pu--y.

I'm hoping to find young, naive girls with low self-esteem to subvert, deviate, and then brainwash into believing that their families and friends hate them and that their only hope of a decent life is to marry me. Of course I'll feed them heroin and pills so they will be numb to the inevitable domestic violence and mood-swings that are the result of my cocaine-fuelled pre-teen years, but y'know, if they step out of line - say, object to me sleeping with other women, often abortive mothers - then I won't hesitate in using the torture basement that my brother-in-law recently installed for me as a celebratory gift after my driving license was returned to me - it's the 10th anniversary memorial for those poor kids next week, and even though it wasn't my fault I was drunk I might attend out of a sense of what's right.

My journal charts my descent into schizophrenia, logs my various polygynous exploits and spells out in precise detail my novel and inventive forms of masturbatory experimentation. Among other medical insights - such as pictures of my recent anal prolapse and video footage of the boil on my testicles being lanced - my journal also acts as a diary of my battle with HIV and my mission to inflict it upon as many young people with bright, promising futures as I can.
 

I am Paul, I am from Oxford, I am 29, and I'm not a terrorist!

I read (and read and read and readandreadandread). My favourite contemporary authors are China MIeville and Iain Banks, and new to the list: Paolo Bacigalupi. Speculative fiction with socialist undertones.

I jokingly refer to myself as a musician, when in actuality I can basically string a series of chords together in order to create the illusion of music.

A depressive by vocation, I have high times and low times, and my journal reflects this - or it does on El Jay, and soon will on here. I don't meme, survey or even comment; I don't troll - contrary to the beliefs of some members of this community - but I won't back down from a 'debate' either.

I like people who have their own opinions, who can eloquently put forth their arguments, and who can teach me things... people who can talk books and movies until eternity. I also like to book share.

An atheist, I often wander onto the subject of religion, but I'm not actively anti it - though it does make me unlikely to be the best of friends for god-botherers. On that point I'd like to say that I'm not a friend whore, and that I actually like to get to know the people on my friends list.

Messy, messy... writing this shit at 4am as a justification of my entry on here, and attempting to prove a point to the somewhat small-minded individuals who couldn't take a joke in the first place - it was never going to turn out well.

MY JOURNAL WILL OFFEND THE WEAK-OF-EVERYTHING

(and if it doesn't then I'm doing it wrong)

Comments

[hallowspite]

I hope my reply didn't trigger this, I was actually quite amused. :) I'm sorry I didn't get that across clearly enough.

[heavymetalmouth]

It's ok, I just hate accusations of 'troll' when I just have a slightly warped sense of humour... the term implies a desire to cause trouble, which I just don't have.

And you weren't the only one.

[hallowspite]

And yet, you deliberately use controversial subjects and call people "Small minded"?

Some people tend to interpret that kind of thing as "causing trouble."

[heavymetalmouth]

That would be their (wrong) interpretation, and they're allowed to reach that decision, but as always with a writers intellectual property: said writer knows his own motives.

[heavymetalmouth]

And right now, by making an issue of it - and by declaring 'troll' - it is YOU causing trouble.

[areno]

MY JOURNAL WILL OFFEND THE WEAK-OF-EVERYTHING

I like your attitude. Add?

[heavymetalmouth]

Yeah, your profile made me smile. My journal is sparse right now, but it will improve.

[casimiera]

That was quite humorous. I like your sense of humor. Not very much into that while I'm writing, but I enjoy reading it nonetheless. Add?

[heavymetalmouth]

I do write in a fairly off-hand manner in my journals, but not when I write stories. That particular bit of light hearted whimsy was just me attempting a slightly less mundane bio than your usual.

I'll add you back now.

[presently]

I subscribed to you last night out of morbid curiosity. I like you and your approach. I will grant you access tomorrow night whenI'm not browsing from my phone at two in the morning. :) Warning: I am boring.

[heavymetalmouth]

Why morbid? Just because I joke about the worst things life doesn't mean I'm a low-life scumbag.

Boring is a subjective label. Believe in yourself, otherwise Buddha will crush you with his enormous girth.

The benefits of obesity in a prophet/god.

[presently]

Definitely didn't call you a low life or a scumbag. I was pretty sure your post was more a work of fiction or a dramatic reworking of actual facts. I found it interesting and wanted to read more, end of story. :P

[heavymetalmouth]

I wasn't accusing you, and if you felt that way then I apologise. people cast aspersions upon me, and I hate that.

I am a lowlife and a scumbag, but not for the reasons that people on here specify. You can't accuse me of either based on what I wrote in this community.


You are one of very few who didn't judge me based on what I originally wrote, and I really appreciate that.

[kira_nost]

HI, we seem to have a lot of things in common and I think I might be the person that you've described - I love talking books and movies, I'm eloquent and I like to read, especially since I'm a literature major. I'll add you and we'll see where we go from there. You're welcome to read my journal entries,its mostly about depression and raw emotions, so you can see if you like it.