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Hey there

Name: Call me Dreamy =)

Age: 31

I mostly post about: my humdrum life, things I've been pondering, just trying to get my thoughts and worries out and see what others think about it if they want to comment.

My hobbies are: reading, doodling, worldbuilding for those novels I'm totally gonna write one day (sarcasm alert), watching tv/movies/etc, learning new things, making characters in The Sims but never really playing the game itself =P

My fandoms are: There's a lot of stuff I like but I guess the true fandoms for me right now (where I go as far as to read fanfiction and look at fanart!) are The Locked Tomb series and Arcane. (Yeah, I love f/f shipping and I'm butch-crazy! hehehe.) I also like The Expanse tv series - haven't read the books (yet?), Harry Potter, The Mandalorian, The Wheel of Time, Xena, and Horizon Zero Dawn. But I don't actually play HZD, I just watch silent playthroughs of cool games for the stories. I am also pretty jazzed about A League of Their Own (2022) and I hope for a season 2. Sometimes I watch comedy cartoons like Inside Job and Human Resources. I haven't watched anime in a while but I used to like it a lot and I still really like KyoAni shows and Ghibli movies.

My favorite writers are: Bonnie J. Morris, Carolyn Gage, Lois-Ann Yamanaka, Tamsyn Muir, Lee Lynch

I'm looking to meet people who: just nice people with open minds =) I'm considering converting to Buddhism so if there are any Buddhist journalers here or people who are also interested in Buddhism (or any other religion, really) it would be nice to chat about it.
I also think it would be cool to meet some feminists on here. I never call myself a feminist because I'm not an activist by any means but my online friends who don't use this site are all lesbian feminists with ties to lesbian land and the like, and that's a really interesting life to lead. If my life circumstances allow it, I plan on visiting some lands one day. If you are into that kind of thing too, I'd love to be friends.

My posting schedule tends to be: sporadic, I just post when something has been weighing on my mind. I actually only recently started using this journal to post in September.

When I add people, my dealbreakers are: I am not into intense radical political stuff. I don't want to deal with hostile or rude people. I don't want to be friends with extremely right-wing or homophobic people. It's ok to voice disagreements with me but please do so in a respectful manner and treat me like a human being.

Before adding me, you should know: I live in the southern US. I'm perpetually stuck in-between things in life and I'm struggling to move forward after being stuck in a state of arrested development for many years. I'm trying to be hopeful and healthier. I appreciate fresh perspectives on the stuff swimming around in my head...

Have a nice day (~‾⌣‾)~
At the time of writing this, I'm about to go to work, so if you respond I will reply later on. Also, feel free to simply add me without comment or introduce yourself through a private message if you are shy and/or prefer private interactions.
If I made any typos, forgive me! LOL

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hi dreamy! may i add you? we have a lot of interests in common and i'd love to support your newfound journalism!

plus i totally relate to your sims woes - it takes me like hours to create a family, then i play with them for like 20 minutes and lose interest. WHOOPS.

(also, someone who likes xena! i loved that show much as a kid)

Yes, and hi nice to meet you 2d! =D

I know! The game itself is nowhere near as fun as designing characters and houses and downloading all that cool custom content out there.

feel free to check out my profile/journal and add me if you like! as far as what you listed, I'm not into any of those things but that doesn't matter to me.

Sure, and hello Churi nice to meet you =)

Check out my profile and see if you like!

Wow, I see that you're a Buddhist. I'd totally like to friend you on here if that's ok! Also, I like Marie Kondo and Love, Death & Robots too.

I've never been to New Mexico but I had a friend who lived there briefly and it looks like such a beautiful place. ♥ She sent me bizcochitos from there.

Why, yes! We are originally from Ohio and relocated here in 2014--we love it!!

I added you! I think we have a fair amount in common. But I have the opposite Sims problem to you - I build instead of playing, hehe :)

I will add you right back! Hello =D
I think it's so cool that you build on there. I just spend a long time collecting custom content and designing characters. But I have discovered that I can download player-built residential houses and I'm having fun collecting nice houses for my characters.

>>worldbuilding for those novels I'm totally gonna write one day (sarcasm alert)<<

It's totally fine to have worldbuilding as a hobby unto itself. If you want to write based on it, by all means, go ahead. But you don't have to. People build model ships, building model worlds is just a different scope.

I recently posted "Build with the Mind" about a worldbuilding class, and its posted notes include both how to do a worldbuilding class and a bit about the storyworld they started describing. Because it's fun.

>>I also think it would be cool to meet some feminists on here. <<

I am feminist, more or less, not necessarily a close match for others. I'm an activist in general, too.

>> If my life circumstances allow it, I plan on visiting some lands one day. If you are into that kind of thing too, I'd love to be friends.<<

I do like intentional community. Some of the lesbian ones have been very interesting social experiments -- they're among the more far-out examples.

>>I appreciate fresh perspectives on the stuff swimming around in my head...<<

Yeah, I'm good for that.

Feel free to drop by my blog and see if it appeals to you.

Thank you for sharing Build with the Mind. I had fun reading that. You're right, some of it I do just for my own enjoyment.

AH yeah, intentional communities can attract some eccentric characters. I admire the gumption and hardiness of landwomen, and the way communal living necessitates healthy responses to conflict. Not being able to avoid it or ghost people goes a long way. Seems hard to get used to, but worth it in the end. Alternatives to the nuclear-family-unit-living-in-a-mcmansion lifestyle are always inspiring to me. (Not that I wouldn't love a spacious home of my own! lol)

I've added you =)

>>Thank you for sharing Build with the Mind. I had fun reading that.<<

Yay! It's part of my biggest series, Polychrome Heroics, so there's a lot more stuff posted if you feel like browsing around.

>> You're right, some of it I do just for my own enjoyment.<<

Many worldbuilders do, but a lot get stuck in the idea that worldbuilding is just a means to an end rather than it could be a hobby unto itself. Back when the Torn World shared world was running, we put a lot of energy into worldbuilding, and that was as fun as writing stories with the material. I built several whole ecosystems: the sea monsters, a dryland, and an avian one.

>>AH yeah, intentional communities can attract some eccentric characters.<<

LOL yes. But average people rarely go haring off into the woods to create their own settlement. The cohousing movement came later, for folks who didn't want to go that far out.

>> I admire the gumption and hardiness of landwomen, <<

Agreed.

>>and the way communal living necessitates healthy responses to conflict.<<

Well, it's more like if you can't figure it out, the community usually fails. That happens a lot. But then the history of it is there, you can look at intentional community over more than a century of time, and get an idea of what works and what doesn't. Lots of unhealthy and healthy patterns have been identified so folks know what to try and avoid, or aim for. It gives modern communities a leg up because they don't have to start from scratch unless they want to.

I read about lesbian communities in Women's Studies classes (back before anyone other than me called it Gender Studies) and hippie histories and Communities magazine. They were often the ones doing the really radical, far-out stuff like pure consensus, egalitarianism, or cash-free living. That highlighted a lot of challenges with those paradigms. Most lesbian communities crashed and burned, or shifted to a different structure. This was only slightly less true of other communities, though. And I think if we didn't have the lesbians trying the far-out stuff, then we probably wouldn't have some of the more nuanced systems seen today, like partial income-sharing, egalitarian small teams, or participatory decision-making.

>> Not being able to avoid it or ghost people goes a long way. Seems hard to get used to, but worth it in the end. <<

I agree. A big part of the problem in modern society is that people are so mobile, they can't form and maintain ties. So then it's really hard for kids to learn the skills needed to do that, and the problem gets worse.

>> Alternatives to the nuclear-family-unit-living-in-a-mcmansion lifestyle are always inspiring to me.<<

If you haven't already found it, the Foundation for Intentional Community has a bookstore on its site. There are many books about past and present communities, and how they are structured. The intentional living movement is very diverse now, with lots of options.
https://www.ic.org/intentional-community-books/

You might also like Intentional Neighboring. That kind of community-building can be done almost anywhere, although it's easier where the built environment supports it.

>> (Not that I wouldn't love a spacious home of my own! lol) <<

Home size varies greatly in communities. Some of them, especially with the cohousing model, lean toward the larger end but still have a common house. The planned-community type often offer several sizes/models of home so members can choose what they want. Others have quite small private space but very generous common space. Ecovillages often cram the housing close together -- they like rowhouses -- so they can leave most of the land for gardens, forests, etc. Think about what you want a big house for, and whether that really all needs to be private or some of those needs could be met by shared resources.

>> I've added you =)

I've added you back! :D

Oh cool! I'd like to take some classes like that if I ever get off the ground with regards to higher education. (I have the option to do it online free through work but I am having trouble managing my time...)
Augh, I feel so sad when I think about how many intentional communities, lesbian or not, failed. It breaks my heart! But it's true, at least those failures serve to show us what does and doesn't work.

Thank you so much for these links. 👀 I'm going to pick through these for a while.

As far as having a big house - I said that thoughtlessly because I'm having a bit of anxiety about the future, but you're right. I don't think I actually want a big home at all in the first place. I don't need all that space and wouldn't be able to do the upkeep and cleaning it would require. Living in an ecovillage of rowhomes with most of the land space used collectively for gardening and other homestead-y things sounds amazing!

>> Oh cool! I'd like to take some classes like that if I ever get off the ground with regards to higher education.<<

Options include:

* Look for actual worldbuilding courses. A few colleges offer these, although most of those are individual rather than team builds.

* Look for colleges that offer "team project" courses. These have become more popular in recent years. Pick one from an art or writing department, invite friends from other specialties, and you may be able to assemble a team worldbuilding project. I encourage you to print out the instructions I wrote and show them to an advisor or teacher when making your proposal. It's easier to convince people to do things if someone else has already done a lot of the work for them.

* Or you could just pick some friends and do a worldbuilding activity at home or online. I've taken part in several. Not to mention that anytime I talk about some other cool dimension I've been to, my friends tend to pile into it. Seriously, I got into roleplaying in high school that way.

>> (I have the option to do it online free through work but I am having trouble managing my time...) <<

It takes practice. First, you have to think about your priorities and schedule first the things you care most about. Second, you need to find tools that help you organize activities and track time. You also need the power to choose your own tasks and timing. It won't work if other people keep dragging you off course. This would be well worth your while if work is supporting you in online learning for free.

Do you have someone at your job who is responsible for supporting learners? If so, speak to them. They probably have a list of resources that have helped other learners. For instance, they may have a printable schedule page, or a learning app, or a club of learners supporting each other. They may tell you that you can put your class time in your job work schedule so people don't bother you with other tasks during that hour or whatever. Like how some jobs put gym time on the clock so people will do it.

You could look at buyable, printable, or drawable planner pages. There are many different styles to help people organize things. You could probably find one that works with your mindset.

journalsandplanners and

bujo are communities on DW where you could get ideas or help with this approach.

Consider physical tools. I have a multifunction clock and a kitchen timer on my desk. They allow me to practice cognitive offloading onto devices so I do not have to track things like "I have to put supper in the oven 10 minutes from now" inside my brain, thus freeing that brainspace for other tasks. Sometimes I have used a whiteboard on my door to indicate that I should not be disturbed.

Mostly it just comes down to identifying your pattern problems, then analyzing why you keep having them. Different base reasons need different solutions.

>>Augh, I feel so sad when I think about how many intentional communities, lesbian or not, failed. It breaks my heart! But it's true, at least those failures serve to show us what does and doesn't work.<<

It's sad in a way, but when people are trying radical new things, the failure rate is necessarily high. We need folks who are willing to try the crazy ideas, or we'll never find new ones that work. And humanity hasn't solved a lot of sociodynamic problems that we are running out of time to solve before the biosphere collapses under the weight of humanity's fuckups. O_O Besides, over time, the intentional community movement has evolved and learned a lot of new ways to do things that actually work quite well.

If you're not making any mistakes, you're not learning, you're coasting.

>>Thank you so much for these links. 👀 I'm going to pick through these for a while.<<

Yay! I'm happy I could help.

>>As far as having a big house - I said that thoughtlessly because I'm having a bit of anxiety about the future,<<

That is a rational response to an unstable situation.

>> but you're right. I don't think I actually want a big home at all in the first place. I don't need all that space and wouldn't be able to do the upkeep and cleaning it would require. <<

To figure out how much space you need, consider things like:
* Do you want to live alone or with other people? How many bedrooms is that? How many butts to seats for bathrooms?
* Do you want to cook for yourself, a group, or eat somewhere else? This will inform your kitchen needs.
* Do you have a large hobby, a home business, pets, or something else that would benefit from a room of its own?

Then look at what kind of space intentional communities often offer in the common areas, and ask whether your would prefer to do things alone or in company:
* Cook in a huge common kitchen and eat with a few dozen friends in a dining hall?
* Have a big party room, game room, and/or movie room in the common house for gathers?
* Use guest rooms or suits in the common house instead of every individual house needing a spare?
* Share a big craft room, or even a makerspace with several rooms dedicated to different crafts? A woodshop, metalshop, atelier, or other space?
* Share a motorpool in covered parking or garage, with a few cars and a bus and a hauling truck rather than having to buy your own vehicle?

People feel differently about these things. It is good to think ahead about your needs and feelings. For this reason, many communities have a visiting program or open house so that communards can explore different options before settling somewhere.

>>Living in an ecovillage of rowhomes with most of the land space used collectively for gardening and other homestead-y things sounds amazing!<<

It seems to be getting more popular. The urban version in cohousing is often a ring of houses around a central park or common yard.

Here's one that looks about 1/3 each of duplexes, farmland, and forest.

This one is about half rowhouses and half farms, but the rowhouse strips have little green courtyards between them.

This one has much more stuff crammed together, but I think it's still about half homes and half common areas.

Basically you trade off having a huge private house and yard, for a smaller house and yard (often cheaper) with access to extensive common spaces such as community gardens, a food forest, a playground, a common house, etc. Ecovillages just focus on maximizing their greenspace, whether they're using that for agriculture or wildlife habitat or whatever.

I have described some of these in my writing, based on observations of various intentional community structures here.

Hello! I'm playing catch-up here so sorry for the late comment. I think we have several things in common and would love to add you. Feel free to check my journal out and let me know if you're also interested:)

Absolutely, I'll add you right now.

Editing to say: Wow, I also liked Welcome to Night Vale and Alice Isn't Dead. Have you ever listened to The Magnus Archives? I think it's similar to those in some ways and has likable characters and it gets very weird and creepy. If you liked WtNV and Alice, you might like TMA. It's not everyone's cup of tea but I enjoyed it for the most part!

Edited 2022-11-27 17:02 (UTC)

Thanks! 💕

I'm interested in TMA! Everything I've heard sounds so good. I just have to be doing the right activity to not accidentally space out during fictional pods so I haven't gotten around to it yet. Hopefully I will soon!

I know what you mean - I was only able to listen to most of it while doing lawn work during a summer 2020 quarantine.

Ahhhh I love Arcane! I also love Horizon Zero Dawn, have played it and watched others' playthroughs because I'm a nerd and love the story. Have you watched any playthroughs of Horizon Forbidden West??

If you're interested in adding, my old post from August is here.

Adding you now! =D

And yesss, love them both! 🤩 I started watching a SUPER long playthrough of Horizon Forbidden West but stopped because I've been extra busy picking up shifts at work but I'm actually about to start over and watch it through all the way this time. Those games are just incredible!

Also, I looked at your icons and saw we also like some of the same shows.. I like ATLA/LoK, She-Ra, The Witcher, and Elementary. I haven't actually watched Elementary in forever, though. I feel a rewatch coming on...

Edited 2022-11-27 16:45 (UTC)

Added you back!

Ooooh, would you mind dropping a link? I'm always down to watch those while I get some chores done.

I haven't watched Elementary in a hot minute tho so don't feel bad. It's been on my catch-up list for a while now.

Just now, I found an even longer one. o_o Here it is. It's 40 hours and the player did side quests and errand quests on top of the main story/game. I like that because I think the little things are still important to the overall story and characterizations.

Edited 2022-11-27 18:18 (UTC)

Oooooh love that. I didn't get to finish all the sidequests yet but that's because I want to wait for DLC before I finish up the entire game.

We have somethings and mutuals in common. Would you like to be friends? :)

Sure, I'll add you now!

I subscribed since it seems like we have a lot of shared interests (especially femslash and similar stuff). I'd also love to learn more about Buddhism-- I have some exposure because my mom is culturally Buddhist, but I'm more interested in reading about some of the philosophical teachings. (My friend recently sent me an episode from a podcast on secular Buddhism which I enjoyed, so I was interested in checking out more stuff like that.)

I'm in a similar situation re: feminism, I love to read about it but am also very much not an activist. I was hoping to read more classic feminist books next year (like bell hooks, Audre Lorde, etc.), but we'll see! And it's so cool you know people on lesbian land! The only person I know of IRL that's gone to one is a professor that went to a bunch for academic reasons, but reading her stuff about it has been enough to make me super curious. No plans to actually go to one at the moment, but I really want to attend the Ohio Lesbian Festival this year.

Anyway, it's awesome seeing someone into that here. Welcome and I hope you enjoy your stay on Dreamwidth!! :D

Hi, adding you now! :D So cool to connect with someone also interested in feminist literature/culture. I also want to attend OLF or something similar, no guarantee I'll be able to but it sounds like so much fun *u*

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