100% pure, unfiltered cynicism. Not from concentrate.

[omnipotent]

Sup sup, it's Baroness. Or really, whatever you want to call me (this includes "flaming bitch", if that so tickles your fancy). I have used the moniker Baroness since, oh . . . 2003? I've been around this journal block more than a few times. I generally prefer to keep to myself, but with a new year approaching, I figured some new online faces might be nice.

Some quick things about yours truly:

• Basic stuff: I am a woman in my mid-to-late twenties. Contrary to what my profile says, I do not live in the Ukraine (for extra fun, put the Cyrillic into Google Maps and you will see why); I live in the Tampa Bay area of Flori-Duh, a magical place of wide lawns and narrow minds where the amount of plastic and/or muscles present in/on one's body, depending on gender, is directly inverse to the amount of brain matter that is regularly utilized.


• I work as a mortgage underwriter in an office of questionable management, crazy coworkers, insane deadlines, rampant poor life decisions, and often-unreasonable demands. (AKA: free entertainment while on the clock) The salary is enough to afford me a somewhat comfortable existence despite Uncle Sam helping himself to a quarter of my gross pay (and then more than likely demanding more come April). I live with my boyfriend in one of those modern heterosexual relationships where the female partner is the breadwinner--shock, gasp!


• When I am not on the clock, I take art classes and do much more socializing than I care for due to my boyfriend being a social butterfly. I also like to watch cartoons (this includes anime), read, play video games, and occasionally do something crazy like drive a Lamborghini or fly an airplane. (Yes, I have done both these things.) I am currently, hopefully, if I have jumped through the correct amount of hoops at the precise timing required, going to start college in the spring to get my degree in mechanical engineering.


• I like a lot of things, but listing everything I like here would make this far longer and more pretentious than it already is. My profile will provide a glimpse into that, although most of my interests are (obviously) listed for shits and giggles.

Quick reading guide (AKA, "Do I want to add this bitch?"):

• In case it hasn't been made crystal clear by now, I am quite sarcastic and cynical. I am, however, not as full of unwarranted self-importance as I might seem.


• Sometimes I update often; sometimes I don't. (♪♫Sometimes you feeeeeel like a nut, sometimes you don't!) I comment as often as I can. No one is ever expected to comment on my entries to stay on my friends list; that said, it is nice to hear from you every now and then, even if it is just, "Hi, I'm alive! Are you alive, too?"


• I am one of those bitches who likes guns and likes to talk about them. The business end of my firearms have, to date, never been pointed at any living being, and it is my sincere hope that I never have to do so. That said, spare me the "guns kill people" lecture. Also spare me the "we need tougher gun laws!" lecture.


• I write about my day-to-day goings-on and occasionally about the people I encounter in said goings-on. Occasionally I write about other stuff, too.


• I am not a nice person. No, really, I'm not--the people on my friends list are people I have fooled, ha ha! I am that person who will tell you what you don't want to hear, and I will not sugarcoat it.


• However, tying into the above, I like to consider myself a person who takes it as well as I can give it. You are welcomed, encouraged even, to freely speak your mind in my journal. You are welcomed to judge me and to share your judgments, whether they are scathing, kind, or a mix of both. I've heard it all before, so don't worry about offending me; it's pretty hard to do. If it happens, I'll deal with it; if I can't deal, then I'll deal with that, too. This comes with a caveat, though: don't dish it out if you can't take it back. That's reasonable, no?


• Despite how utterly pretentious this all sounds (and that is deliberate, see tongue-in-cheek link above), I consider myself a rather easygoing person. This is, at times, a double-edged sword.

I am looking for people who also write about themselves and their lives. I'm not too into fandom anymore, so I'd prefer not to read fandom journals.

Please be an adult. By this, I mean a reasonable, mature person. Age does not necessarily matter, as I have encountered plenty of people whom I call "grown ass babies", although over 18 is preferable.

If you are into dramatics, please keep scrolling.

I am not necessarily into social justice warriors--if I want to read that, I know where to find it on Tumblr.

Interests in common are nice, though not particularly necessary. If you want specifics on things I like, ask and it shall be revealed unto you.

I'm not too good at talking about myself, so we'll leave it at that--I prefer to let people read my journal and form their own opinions. If you managed to get through all of this tl;dr pretentiousness and you still want to add me, head on over to my friends only page, and let's make it happen.

Love, peace, and grease . . .