Henlo again! In a mood to be friendly.

[zenigotchas]

WHO am I?: The cheerful and dark zillenial who gets excited about the creative AND the technical sides of things.

I'm someone who is very playful and optimistic, but I do also hold a very morbid side due to personal, abusive upbringings and struggles. But it's okay, it balances out and I like myself this way. It is the BAD times that teach me most about hopium and standing up for what I think.

I love a lot of things people would find scary, but in a "this is beautiful to me" sort of way. There is something so gorgeous to me, for example, about the way a heavy snowstorm at night looks because it's so terrifying it's captivating and impossible to look away. And similarly, what's weird to others is normal for me and I find living a stranger lifestyle suits me (for example, my ideal sleep schedule involves me sleeping at 8 and waking up at 3 or 4. Then I used the next several hours for my art).

I'm bisexual, female, so white I am practically translucent, a lifelong agnostic since childhood turned in an apophatic theology and theistic evolution enjoyer (aka a christian).

WHAT do I post/do/like/etc?: I like DW because it can be both a blahg abt recovery from trauma and finding a good life and appreciating the small everyday adventures and it can also be my personal repository for what music I've listened to, what books I've read, my analysis/interpretations of media and what it reflects in the world, storytelling structure, productivity models and toys, etc. and whatever else has been bouncing in my mind. I was homeless a few months ago, am getting my GED and am currently navigating keeping my SNAP benefits after escaping a pretty hostile work environment. DW lets me go into that too.

Some things I personally enjoy include: sci fi (LOVE anything involving mecha. Big fan of super robot stuff!), horror (psychological, domestic, surreal, or BODY HORROR!!!! A bit of gore can be meaningful too), superheroes (big fan of Batman cuz it's mecore, and Spawn is a so-bad-it's-good-romp) and comedies (I love really really really dark and poignant works). I also enjoy many Nintendo classics, SEGA has me in a headlock (LOVE to all Sonic media), Atlus should continue to make mainline Shin Megami Tensei games for me to play and get philosophical about, etc. I do love consuming fiction, but philosophy also holds my heart and I am slowly going through Friedrich Nietzsche's works because he's funny. I also like clowns/clowncore, smol chubby things, animals, science makes me happy too and I am a big fan of all things related to evolution and dinosaurs! One of my most favorite things is that birds ARE dinosaurs.

My brain is very technical. I enjoy taking thngs apart and getting excited over structure, productivity models, the niche, momentum, pivoting, effective time use, etc. I have an entire tag where I get into this. ButI also am very into creative stuff, enjoy reading and creating art. This combination of traits leads to a variety of subjects I like to think about–Things like hask batching and how it synthesizes well with pivoting can be a fun topic, or analyzing why a storyline's plot points are paced a certain way and how it's pacing gives you good context clues for a character's role in a story.

I also enjoy thinking about the context, intentions and reflections of what a work says about society, its author and its conception. Everything we make has some self expression to it. Even the way a painter makes a single stroke can show you who taught them how to do it and what styles were popular at the time. It IS why we preserve history, to understand each chain of events that lead up to TODAY.

I do all this because it's good for my brain and it also is a good way to practice empathizing with very different human beings.

I'm slowly trying to pace myself on the blog and make more time to focus further on analysis since I don't do as much as I'd like.

I enjoy fanfiction and write it sometimes and DEF enjoy making time for fanart, but fandom itself is not something I enjoy getting very involved in and I think some of the social expectations just aren't for me or match why I personally like writing/drawing fanfiction and art. These days I focus mostly on original works.

I'm a musicphile, though metal is definitely my life and I like to live the darkly inclined and DIY lifestyle. Here's the pants I made recently. I also try to post about music every Monday–Anything really so long as it's related to music (a lot of it has been Ozzy related since I'm not over his death).

It may sound like I may bring up religion, politics or serious business a lot but I really don't. But context is everything so I enjoy bringing the previous things up so people know where MY experiences lie. I don't consider it a dealbreaker if that's something you like to discuss, so long as it's not the ONLY thing you wanna discuss bc I prefer other subjects when I'm getting to know people (I would likely not unadd due to politics, I would unadd for excessive discussions of it). All that said, beyond what I've mentioned here, please don't press me to say much else beyond that! I'll go on about the details of my christian denomination or my political stuff if I feel comfortable and up for it.

WHY would we possibly be good mutuals?: Because you may be mentally ill and in recovery yourself, also experiencing hard times but are looking to change that and are doing the work!!!! You are also creative and/or into technical shit, or just want to hop in to see what's the ride like. There is plenty of room here in my clownhouse of craziness. Most of all, you're likely a very open minded person who's interested in different experiences and empathizing.

I enjoy anyone who's independent. I aspire to be a strong independent person myself and I think there's a beauty in watching other people fight for themselves and sending them some love while they smash their mf'ing goals.

I also like other cheerfully dark people! I know you're out there and I'd love to hear how difficult times have molded you into a better, much happier person!

I'm not easily scandalized. I purposefully try to surround myself with very different minds and read things from all sorts of sources. Uncomfortable moments and conflict are healthy. I do not think different views of reality should make someone less of a friend. Similarly, not having the same interests or blahg type doesn't make you less of a possible friend! Not to be performative but I know I have a lot of very different and niche interests and tastes. I never go into a situation thinking I'm going to find my twin, lol.

WOULD we ever not get on well?
Being the person who believes media doesn't exist in a vacuum and art is a form of self expression/self reporting, for my own safety and sanity I don't pursue friendships with people who find stuff like lolisho, racism, incest, etc. to be really hot or inherently funny. People who may not consume or create it but defend that kind of behavior anyway are also not people I see as friendship material.

AI stuff is not interesting to me and I don't consider it art.

WELL, anything else?
Not to brag but I got cptsd AND gad, thus putting me on multiple layers of anxiety in one body that only most people could ever dream of achieving through years of hard work and devotion.

...So yeah, I can struggle with socializing or I even forget to respond to people. I'm trying to get out of the mindset that people merely tolerate me and am trying to be less afraid to reach out. It is getting better.

Serious social issues are not a usual subject but dark topics are pretty typical. TWs abound but I don't want to police my naturally dark tendencies for anyone.

I am verbose, but I'm learning to see it as a plus, not a minus.

Comments

[mapsedge]

Sounds like we might be a good fit, though I am a good deal older (Gen-X). Everybody related to me that wasn't an immediate sibling was dead by my eighteenth birthday, so dark humor and humor through trauma is a familiar and well worn place. I'm also a tinkerer: if arduino and related technologies had been available to me in my teens/early-twenties, I'd be emperor of the Earth by now.

I'm live just about in the center of the United States, have a wife, two early-20s kids who are neuro-spicy like me and are a daily joy to us, three cats, two 3d printers, a 2002 Taylor 510 LE and a Davy Stuart bouzouki that I play in an Irish band called Jump-2-3.

[zenigotchas]

A good chunk of the cool people I know are gen x, millenials or xillenials, you'll fit in just fine! Nice to meet ya. I'd love to hear more about you!

[maryquitecontrary]

Hello! If you're still looking for new friends, I'm game. I think you sound interesting. ^_^

My brain is still booting up for the day, so words aren't flowing particularly well for me at the moment, but I'm in my forties, live with ADHD/depression/anxiety, and am a queer/bi cis lady.

I'm trying to get back into LJ-style journaling after years on Tumblr. Currently, most of my posts are daily updates on a reading challenge I'm doing, but I'm slowly trying to vary what I post.